I’m navigating a season of life changes right now. Here’s the part I never thought I’d write: I’m still navigating. I don’t have everything figured out. And I’ve finally made peace with the fact that… that’s okay.
How fitting, it’s always summer when periods of changes come knocking on my door.
Summer 2019: I quit my very first corporate job, and with a heavy heart said goodbye to family, friends, and colleagues in Vietnam. I then flew halfway across the world for a year of Master’s study.
Summer 2022: less dramatic of a geographical move, but I quit my second corporate job in the Netherlands, packed up my single apartment, and moved across the border to a new country.
Now summer 2025: I’m looking at another double-change, in my long-term residential city and perhaps even a new career path.
Each season of change has brought the same swirl of feelings. Excitement about a new future mixed with anxiety about the said new future. Uncertainties mingled with courage and eagerness to face them. Bittersweet goodbyes, mixed in happiness and hope for a new life chapter ahead.
As of the time of writing this blog, I’m still navigating a season of changes and I still do not have everything figured out. Scary? Yes. But that’s okay!
For me (and maybe you too?), a change often carries not only expectations, daydreams and wishes, but also thousands of what-ifs, a touch of sadness and the unease about the future ambiguity when transitioning to a new phase of life.
Despite hallucinating and calling myself an expert of “change management”, I find myself clumsy still in handling a season of change. This time, however, I try to slow down and pay attention to what a change period means to me and how to navigate it with grace, instead of rushing to “fix” everything.
Here’s what I’ve learned — and what might help you too.
Accept the change and embrace the season of changes
Whether a change happens by choice, by accident, by force, and for a good reason or not, it will always demand a transition period. It’s unavoidable, and be prepared, it can also be tough and messy. Anticipating and accepting this reality makes the change process more tolerable and forgiving.
Recently, my department has implemented a “back to office” policy, reversing from the ratio of 4 home office : 1 office to the exact opposite. It happens quite suddenly with only 2 weeks of notice and unfortunately (or funnily), in the middle of my moving to another city.
Not to mention the commute distance yet, I find it extremely hard to adjust back to that life of full-time office before Covid-19. After all, it has been 5+ years of adapting to the “new normal” of home office.
Can we truly really go back?
Can I be that office person again?
It will be a change of a whole lifestyle and routines. A change that goes against my ideal of modern office and productivity fueled by self-autonomy and flexibility. A change that is unnecessary for the nature of my job (I work a lot with softwares and virtual meetings with external IT consultants). Yet it demands my time to be heavily traded, as the commute distance is roughly increased to 5 hours per day.
Let’s have it out: This sudden change means that I might have to either quit my job or cancel the moving plan (…or keep both but live in an AirBnB afterwards? Do we have other creative ideas?).
Frustration was what I experienced. For weeks, I tried to deny the situation, voice my opinions and ask for considerations. When that failed, I tried to come up with a lot of ideas and backup plans (I got really creative you would not believe). I wanted to sail through this change season quickly and bounced back, but all I felt was frustration, anger, and disappointment. I have worked so hard for this job and it felt like I am being let go.
These thoughts and feelings entrapped me for weeks. Until I realized, what I needed was not an immediate solution but simply ACCEPTANCE.
This is true with any changes in life.
Accept that life is full of uncertainties and that change is inevitable
Thinking this helps release my anger and frustration. There is no point in dwelling on why such changes happen, or why me, why now, or who is at fault to blame. There is also no need to resist it or to reverse it.
I simply accept that the situation is a part of the flow of life. And with any other parts of life that are embraced, cherished, ignored or even forgotten, why would I allow this part to occupy so much of my mind but fill it with anxiety and frustration, right?
Slow down and take a deep breath. Then remind yourself that this season of changes is a part of life and accept its presence with a gentle attitude.
Accept that a change period is needed and that it can take as much time as needed
Thinking this helps reduce my stress and anxiety, almost instantly. I feel so much lighter in my chest, knowing that it is normal to go through a transition period. It is okay to take time to figure things out step by step, rather than quickly “fix” everything all at once.
Remember that life is not static. So changes WILL happen and when they do, a transition period is completely normal and much needed.
Instead of looking for an immediate answer, I switch to buying myself more time to embrace this change period and tread through it lightly. It is also important to remember NOT to rush into any decisions as they might only be reactions or coping mechanisms, not actual solutions that align long-term with your life goals.
Accept that a change does not always mean loss or setbacks
Thinking this puts a smile back on my face. Sure with the change described above, I might lose my job, the one I moved from the Netherlands over to Germany to take on and into which I have devouted a lot for the past 3 years. However, I try to look at it differently now.
This change could mean new opportunities, a fresh start, and professional and personal growth (see how much I’ve learned in this one blog post)!
Side note: the office dampens my focus and productivity a little, but it does help to create a lively synergy and dynamics with my team members. Unexpected changes can bring positivities too. We just have to keep an open mind for them to come into light.
Let go of control
This change season helps me confirm this suspicion about myself: I am quite a control freak (yay!).
An obsessed planner who can get quickly discouraged when a plan goes sideway. A freedom lover who gets irritated when someone wants to dictate her days.
I resist such changes without a doubt. The more I resist, the more I suffer at the early stages of this change period.
I had days when my motivation was the lowest while my frustration was the highest. I thought there was something wrong with me: why haven’t I got a workable plan yet for this situation? will I submit to this change or break free of it (plus an analysis of consequences)? who to talk to, what can be done, etc. I was craving for all answers, asap.
In a way, I wanted to take control of the situation, steer it around and quickly go back to normal.
Needless to say, it’s not going as planned, either. When I was on the verge of emotional break-down, suddenly an inner voice whispered: You need a break and let go of control.
It is one of the most difficult yet valuable lessons I’ve learned: to let go of control and to let life unfold with time. It is almost unnatural and unnecessary to have everything figured out and put under control all the time. Plus, there will always be matters above our influence.
As Lao Tzu once wrote:
Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
But you might ask, how to let go of control? Here is another thing I’ve learned:
Focus on what you can influence and nurture yourself in the process
First and foremost, I remind myself that not everything will go the way I want. In fact, there is no point in trying to take control of matters that are beyond our grasp.
We can still create impacts on other important things in our lives instead. I try to shift focus onto those little things in life that I can change or improve for the better, such as self-care treats, summer vacation planning or personal projects that bring joy and added values.
At the time of writing this post, I am running a 30-day Language Journal Challenge to keep up my German daily self-study. I also enjoy setting up and decorating the new home office space to be moved into or making this blog pretty and stuffed with new writings.
These mini projects help take my mind off matters that I cannot change or decide at the time.
Admittedly, it can be hard to fully enjoy life and live in the moment when there are worries or uncertainties hanging above our heads. However, learn to accept and let go of control can help a lot with this process.
It does not mean we leave life to chances and do not take actions at all. It means redirecting our focus and energy onto our inner peace and what we can do, while gently accepting the matters we cannot influence and be kind to ourselves for that.
After all, until we can fully adapt to changes and find the best possible responses, we must live on.
One day at a time. Focus on the tasks at hands and notice the little joys in everyday.
More than ever, we need to navigate the seasons of changes with grace and peace of mind. Only then can we think clearly and navigate the season of changes with the best course of actions.
Be patient and trust that life will fall into place
Another lesson I learn through this season of changes is to be patient. Here is a favorite quote of mine about “patience”, also from Lao Tzu:
Nature does not hurry yet everything is accomplished.
If anyone close to me has to describe me, “patient” would not be their choice of adjectives. As with any life changes or new projects, I am always impatient to see it through. But change doesn’t work that way.
This time, I’m learning to slow down, trust the process, and give myself permission to figure things out gradually.
For the first time, after navigating numerous seasons of changes, I have learned to become more patient. It is one of the most difficult yet valuable lessons I’ve learned: to let go of control and to let life unfold with time. My job here is to be patient.
At the time of writing this blog, I’m still navigating this season of change. I still do not have everything figured out (thankfully, at least for the most part now). I continue to pack my apartment up while adapting to the fulltime office routine and finding time for blogging. Whether it is to find a new life balance, or a long-term solution, I am taking my time to navigate the season!
I know from past seasons that, with time, life always finds its rhythm again. With time, life will fall into place. No doubt.
Be grateful
Not all changes in life are setbacks, loss or disruptions. There are countless positive changes (even with challenges included), like moving abroad for study or for a new job, reseting or starting a new life chapter, welcoming a baby into your world, etc. Even unexpected changes can bring positive impacts to our lives or change our life trajectory for the better unknown.
Whatever it is, I believe everything is a part of life and of how we live our lives. The fact that changes happen means that our life is evolving and updating, rather than being stagnant and quiet.
So practice gratefulness. Gratitude doesn’t erase the difficulties, but it softens them.
It is also important to remind ourselves that, life has been good and we have been doing well! A moment or a period of changes should not make us forget that. Let us be grateful for all the goods and all the bads, because that means we are still living.
Final Thoughts
Life will never stand still, so changes are bound to happen. When they do, either by choice, by force, by accident, unexpected or not, I hope we will all keep our heads up and navigate the seasons of changes with a peaceful heart and a mindful head.
When it gets hard, remember to practice gentle acceptance and let go of control. Yes, be kind to yourself please when it is hard. Be kind to yourself by giving you time to navigate this season.
If you cannot yet find a response to your life changes already, be patient. Be patient because you do not need to figure it all out at once and because sometimes you just have to let life follow its course. Focus instead on self-care and little things in life that you can do. They will carry you through this season of changes.
Let’s embrace changes and navigate the seasons of changes with grace and patience rather than haste, with clarity rather than control impulse, and with inner peace rather than anxiety.
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Till next time! Take care friends,
Suani 💕
